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Halloween Hoopla
Episode 87 Foamy's fed up with how Halloween's been turning out lately. Cast (in order of appearance): Transcript {Foamy appears in front of a large house at night.} Foamy: What the fuck happened to Halloween? Halloween used to be scary. There used to be weird, fake costumes that dripped blood everywhere, and candy for all. Now, for some reason, mass marketing has turned this once spooky tradition into a half-assed day of cutsey candy despensing. It seems all the horrific and gross aspects of Halloween have been removed to make way for a "kinder, gentler Halloween". One where there is no blood in sight. And all you see are happy little children dressed as soft, cuddly cartoon characters. {groans} This is not Halloween. I'm also sick and tired of the little ghetto rats that use their street clothes to go trick-or-treating. {imitating woman} And what are you supposed to be? {imitating "ghetto rat"} Yo. I'm a hardcore rapper. Gimmie some candy! {imitating woman} Oh, really? Well come back with a real fucking costume and I'll give you some candy! You lazy bastard! {in normal voice} Remember. If you give them a hand-out now, without having them work for it, they're gonna expect it later in life. {fake clears throat} {very quickly} Welfare. And enough with this store-bought costume shit. Where's the fucking originality in that? How about you take some time and create your own costume? Use some old clothes, get some makeup, and try to come up with something interesting and original. Use your brain. It makes the whole experience a lot more fun. Another thing. What happened to all the good horror movies? Years ago, when Halloween came around, there would be a slew of horror films released in the theaters. Friday the 13th, Halloween, A Nightmare on Elm Street; the list goes on. What is there now? Every once in a while, during the summer, you get an American remake of a Japanese horror film. {sarcastically} Whoop-de-do. Horror films in August: useless. So, all in all, I say it's time to put the horror back in Halloween. Get some fake eyeballs and put them in your mouth, {A disclaimer reads across the bottom: "WARNING: DO NOT PUT FAKE EYEBALLS IN YOUR MOUTH!!!"} or something weird like that. {The disclaimer disappears.} I'm sick and tired of having companies turning Halloween into another holiday that's so cutesy and lovable that it looked like Hello Kitty® exploded on the whole fucking thing. It's horrible. And don't be stingy with the candy when I come around. {off screen} You cheap bastards. {pause} Where's my candy? {The view fades to black.} {The Ending screen appears.} Fun Facts Real World References *''Friday the 13th'' is a popular series of slasher films. All of the films feature Jason Voorhees, either as the killer, or as the motivation or inspiration for the killings. *''Halloween'' is a popular horror film. It is considered one of the most important and influential of the genre. *''A Nightmare on Elm Street'' was the first film in the A Nightmare on Elm Street series of slasher films. *Hello Kitty® is one of the many fictional characters produced by the Japanese company Sanrio, and has long been the most popular one out of the company's characters. External Links *Watch "Halloween Hoopla"